It’s truly been amazing to see what decluttering has done for our home and for our family. Kevin and I were never people who were overly sentimental about things. We don’t get heartburn over donating items or anything like that, and yet we found that we had more stuff than we needed. Add kids (and their toys) to the mix, and I began to realize a different, more intentional approach to things could really serve us well.
Enter decluttering.
We started to meaningfully ask ourselves what items we needed and wanted in our home, and which needed to be passed along. We were already buying fewer things and shopping with much more intention — driven by values around sustainability and ethics, among others — and so decluttering felt like a natural complement to that. As a result, our home became more functional and purposeful, it had more breathing room (something all of us noticed, by the way), it was easier to clean, and it felt more like us, too!
There are some different schools of thought in this space, and after taking in lots of perspectives and also putting things into practice in our home, I thought I’d share a handful that feel like a good fit for me (in case they’re helpful for you, too!):
- Remember who actually lives in your house.
This tip is one I adore, because it helps you declutter your house, sure, but it also allows you to be introspective in the process. It’s so easy to keep certain things because we used to wear, use, or enjoy them, or to hang onto items you purchased with a wish or aspiration in mind. But when you’re honest with yourself, are those too-small jeans or cocktail napkins you just know you’ll use one day when you start hosting more dinner parties really serving you in any way? That person who’s a smaller size or who is a more prolific hostess doesn’t live in your house. YOU LIVE IN YOUR HOUSE. With that in mind, what things do you need and want for THAT person — the one you are right now?
2. Make sure your kids are part of the process when it comes to their stuff.
Decluttering kids’ toys is a often a worthwhile endeavor. After all, check out these two staggering facts:
1️⃣ The U.S. has 3% of the world’s children, but consumes 40% of the world’s toys. 😮
And yet…
2️⃣ 80% of kids play with only 20 toys or fewer. 🚂
But when it comes to decluttering kids’ items, proceed with care.
I heard a decluttering expert advise involving kids in the decluttering of their things, and her logic made so much sense. Although it’s incredibly tempting to tackle the task of decluttering toys and games without your children there to offer input or provide distraction, she argued that getting rid of their things without their say-so can lead to a real breach of trust between you and your child. If they come home from school, for example, and see that you’ve permanently gotten rid of a quarter of the toys in their playroom, it might actually cause them to want to hold onto things even more.
Instead, the recommendation is to let your children be a part of the decluttering process. I can tell you that this has gone surprisingly well in our house! My daughter, Maggie, has helped me declutter her room and playroom, and each time it’s been a great experience for us both. I make sure she knows why we’re saying goodbye to a few things (to make sure our home feels comfortable, that she has space to play, reminding her she doesn’t play with nearly all of her toys anyway/has grown out of some, etc.), and she understands.
I also let her know she gets to make the call when it comes to her stuff. She can decide what goes and what stays, and I won’t offer my input. It’s sometimes hard to watch her pass along a toy that I feel some kind of attachment to, but I stay true to my word and let these decisions be hers. After we’ve selected the items to declutter, I bring her with me to donate the items that are in good shape to a shelter or somewhere similar help her find some joy in knowing her toys will be enjoyed by other kids.
(Now, one type of decluttering when it comes to kids is toy rotating, where you put away a portion of your child’s toys for a while, then swap them out a few weeks or months later. This keeps their toys exciting to the kids, and allows for more space in their playroom. THIS is something I absolutely do without my kids around — because I’m not getting rid of the toys for good — and it brings remarkable results. You can read more about my experience with that here.)
3. The things you own talk to you. What do you want to hear?
Okay, for those of us who loved the Toy Story movies, let’s talk about the personification of STUFF, shall we? Because the truth is, the things we own speak to us.
It’s subtle, but it’s there. Think about it…
The ever-growing pile of books you keep meaning to get to is whispering to you that you’re not nearly well read enough.
The collection of interestingly shaped baking pans you never use in your kitchen remind you that you still don’t know how to decorate a cake well, despite having had ample opportunities to practice that skill.
The piano that you keep because it used to be your great-uncle’s but you don’t have an actual attachment to sings tauntingly to you, because you’ve never taken the time to learn to play.
The too-small clothes in your closet kinda sound like a mean 7th grade girl when they remind you that you used to fit into them but definitely don’t anymore.
And meanwhile…
The candle you love in your living room whispers calm words to you as you light it to help yourself unwind after a long day.
Your trusty pair of tennis shoes reminds you to enjoy a beautiful day by taking a walk on your favorite route.
Your fancy coffee maker tells you you’re practically a barista, and that it can’t wait to see you again in the morning.
Listen to what your things are saying to you, and make decisions on what gets to stick around accordingly.
4. Practice delayed gratification.
This is something that helps keep a decluttered home decluttered! Once you’ve spent time getting things pared down, the last thing you want to do is fill it up with MORE stuff. I find decluttering inherently makes me a more conscious consumer, but actively practicing delayed gratification has helped amplify that skill even more.
All that means is I try not to purchase things impulsively. (That sounds like an easy thing, but let’s be real — impulse buying is practically woven into the fabric of our culture at this point, right?)
I find, though, by really thinking through a potential purchase (often waiting before I decide whether or not to buy it), I end up with fewer things, and the new stuff I do bring into our home tends to be things I love and use.
I also just try to go into retail environments less — both in person and online — and just that cuts down on my consumption in a really simple way. If I never see the thing and want the thing, I don’t even have to debate whether or not to buy it! (I’m trying to instill this value into my kids as well. We don’t often go down the toy aisles at Target for this very reason.) I’ve found unsubscribing from retailer emails is one thing that’s helped me a lot as it relates to curbing my online shopping.
