Yeah — At Least You’re Not That Dumb

You know how sometimes, when you’re having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, it helps to put yourselves in others’ shoes to help you feel less miserable about your lot in life? This post is dedicated to people who — thanks to their silly antics or poor choices or impossibly dumb statements — make me feel so much better about my life. I mean, if these people are getting by, I can, too. I can aspire to greatness, even.

Here’s to confidence by comparison, huh?

1. First up: A North Dakota resident who is oh-so concerned with the deer in her area and their safety calls a local radio station to express interest in having the deer crossing signs moved to lower traffic areas. You know, so the deer aren’t encouraged to cross busy highways and interstates. Since, in her words, “the deer crossing signs are there to allow the deer to know that’s where they need to cross.”

Duh.

Listen out for this gem of a quote from this clip:

“They can direct the deer population anywhere they want to by moving that deer crossing sign. Why in the world would they place it on the highways or on the interstate?”

 

2. Next in line: An oldie but a goodie. This highly enraged Texan is straight up pissed off that Jimmy Dean made changes to its packaging size — and he’s not afraid to let the company know about it. If you haven’t heard this one before, you’re in for a high-calorie treat:

 

3. Another old one, but come on — how could I leave this one out? True, public speaking can be intimidating, and some folks tend to get a bit rambly when put in spotlit situations, but Miss South Carolina 2007’s on-stage answer is just too terribly amazing to pass up.

We, as U.S. Americans, should be so proud:

 

4. Aren’t you infinitely glad you’re none of these people?

5. Wow. Smart move, bank robber.

Anyone who’s not these people, hold your heads nice and high today. 🙂

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