Let me start by saying that I’m a big fan of fall. I like the clothes, the apples, the roasting of vegetables, the soups, the bonfires, Halloween, the whole deal. And, while I can get down with lots of pumpkin-themed goodness, I’m starting to feel like the whole trend is getting a bit nuts.
Is anyone else with me?
I mean, there are certain pumpkin things that are undeniably amazing. Pumpkin bread. Select pumpkin beers. Pumpkin donuts. All solid. But when I walked into Trader Joe’s (one of my favorite places on the planet) the other day and saw that seemingly about a third of the items in the store started with “pumpkin,” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Really? Pumpkin cornbread? Pumpkin toaster pastries? I saw pumpkin hard cider recently at another grocery store. Come on — that CANNOT be good. Not to mention the fact that the ever-popular Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte (I’m sorry — #PSL) was released this year on September 2. September 2? All of America just got done grilling out for Labor Day weekend!
I don’t want to be a hater. I really don’t. And I’m sure many of these pumpkin-prefixed foods are perfectly delicious. What I suppose I really don’t like is the obviousness of it. Are we consumers are really going to load up on just about anything with “pumpkin” in the title? Where’s the line, people?
(Don’t even get me started on “gluten-free.” I get slightly enraged every time I see a product that obviously has no gluten — something someone with a gluten sensitivity would absolutely know doesn’t contain gluten — prominently declaring “Gluten-Free!” on its packaging. Bags of spinach. Fruit. Seriously? GLUTEN-FREE DOES NOT MEAN HEALTHY OR LOW FAT OR ANYTHING OTHER THAN BEING DEVOID OF GLUTEN. Plus, there’s this. Please excuse the poor quality of this video, but you have to watch this scene between Seth Rogen and Jay Baruchel from This Is The End where they discuss gluten. Best quote: “Gluten’s a vague term. It’s something that’s used to categorize things that are bad. Calories — that’s a gluten. Fat — that’s a gluten.”):
(Okay, Anna. Focus your frustration back to the pumpkin stuff.)
I asked the interwebs to show me some of the more ridiculous pumpkin-flavored products, and here’s what I found.
WHO IS BUYING THIS STUFF?*:
(*Yes — those are pumpkin spice flavored condoms there at the end. I rest my case.)